12 Oct 我已经尽我所能, 尽了全力
Love is supposed to be about give and take, not give and give and give until you are all empty inside. I have tried very hard to overlook the small things, to gloss over the things that aren’t important. But this, I will not abide. I have told you over and over, do not cross this line. You toe it consistently, trying to test my limits but now that you have crossed over, this is it. I stand by what I said. This is what it means to keep your word. They’re not just not empty phrases to be uttered to pacify your other half. I expected you to keep yours.
It feels like I am cracked in two; my ears are clogged and my eyes keep leaking but I know it will be better in time. I will get over this loss because I deserve someone who loves me as much as I him, someone less heartbreakingly selfish to think his safety is none of my concern. What if I did nothing, and let this pass? What if I get a call out of the blue to learn that you had passed, because of me not taking a stand on this? I would not be able to take it. This, I can take. Leaving by my own choice, rather than to have you taken away from me. I wish you safety and happiness, maturity over time (hopefully lol). I love you and have done so for a long time; will continue to do so for a while. I can at least say that I’ve tried my fucking hardest and loved you to the best of my ability.
Is this as far as we go?