Posted at 08:53h
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Tim Ho Wan
#01-29 Plaza Singapura
The Atrium @ Orchard
68 Orchard Road
Tel: +65 6251 2000
Took some time off to eat with my most annoying friends (LOL HI SHAUN) before meeting a new client. Went to Tim Ho Wan because I’d heard good things; I wasn’t about to waste 2 hours (that could have been spent on freelance) on mediocre food. Queue took about 20-ish minutes, considering there was about 20 people before me, I think the waiting time was pretty acceptable. The food, however, is amazeballs!
We had both the Pig Liver Vermicelli Rolls (basically chee cheong fan la why must name it Vermicelli freaking mafan to type tsk) and the Shrimp Vermicelli rolls. The Pig Liver one was super nice; liver wasn’t powdery nor did it leave any aftertaste in your mouth. Good stuff. Shrimp one was tasty but it didn’t particularly stand out; I prefer the ones served at Canton Paradise.
Carrot cake was better than average – slightly burnt but not that crisp. I personally love carrot cake but I wouldn’t order this the next time around unless they’re ultra crispy. Pork Ribs also mediocre; Siew Mai and Har Gao were pretty damn awesome, the Har Gao especially! We ordered two baskets of it and fought each other for the last piece LOL. Shrimp in Beancurd skin was also better than average but rather oily; the standout fried dish would definitely be the Egg White Spring Rolls. Not your average rolls man seriously. At first bite they were rather bland, but upon further chewing, they released an intense eggy flavor that got more satisfying with each subsequent bite. Also, I love egg white so I may or may not be biased. But order it anyway la, you won’t regret it!
As for the Osmanthus Cake, both dudes said they rather liked it, although they did mention it would be a lot better if served colder. It was not appealing to me at all though lol. The star of the meal would definitely be the BBQ Pork Buns! They were coated in some sorta crunchy sweet/salty crust, upon tearing it apart you get to the barbequed meat. The combination was awesome! You know when people tell you how good a movie is and you go in expecting excellence and it often falls short of your expectations? Everyone kept telling me WOW THE BUN DAMN NICE and I was like pfft how nice can a freakin char siew bao be but DAYUMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!
This was basically all 3 of our faces upon biting into our BBQ buns:

Unfortunately, you can only order 1 basket/pax due to the high demand. We obviously used up our limit LOL.
Service was pleasant; friendly but not too efficient, I’d say they are still getting the hang of things. Water costs 50 cents but is refillable, which was a nice surprise lol.
And yes we basically tried to eat our way through the entire menu LOLOLOLOL. Add 3 drinks to that and the total bill only came up to $81.10 after GST. Pretty reasonable considering the insane amount of food we consumed. Will definitely return on a weekday when the queue is not crazy long.
On a side note, you know how people always talk about the “Honeymoon period”? It’s never like that for me. If I hit it off with someone, I don’t believe in letting things sour. Plus it helps that I’m funny and the people I date are usually funny as well. Not as funny as me, of course, but passably funny is okay with me la I have low standards LOL. Actually no, scratch that, I am funny enough for two people! Okay that’s the story I’m going with and I’m sticking to it.
SO ANYWAY, funny business (HA! See how punny I am ^_^?) aside, I’m a fucking awesome girlfriend. Seriously. I don’t nitpick, I don’t give a shit about monthsaries (really?) or anniversaries or what have you. I don’t stop him from clubbing or pubbing or messaging other girls; checking them out in front of me or even taking their numbers. I’m fucking fine with it. I’m okay with him watching porn and I even GAME with the dude. No la joking, I obviously OUTGAME him LOL (seriously, what kind of mage attacks at close range tsk this moron). I may be tardy and untidy and occasionally prone to violent outbursts and rage babies but fuck la am I not fucking awesome?
Perhaps I’m too fucking tolerant; too nice to the point where you think I’ll always be okay with the bullshit you pull. Today, I travelled to fucking JURONG to meet this toad after spending the whole fucking day juggling freelance + mailing parcels + checking payments + 7 meetups + travelling down to fucking town to meet a client + meeting the client which took slightly more than an hour. Please note that I AM IN TOWN, whilst this fucking toad is in JURONG, but he didn’t want to come to town, so he asked me to GO TO JURONG SO WE CAN CAB HOME TO SENGKANG TOGETHER. Logic for the motherfucking win. You want me to go down to a further destination so that we can take an EVEN longer (and not to mention, pricier) cab ride home together. I agree to do so, because I love this stupid toad and my love for him obviously makes me weak and stupid. So I travel to Jurong, became thoroughly ashamed of being a Singaporean after meeting a very racist auntie (whom I was very tempted to punch in the throat), and by this time my battery stands at an amazing 3%. I call him, he says he’s drinking with work mates, will be there by 10.45pm.
Fine. I am tolerant and benevolent and I still have 2% battery to listen to music for the next 18 minutes. It’s an acceptable proposal so I do just that. 10.45pm comes and goes. 10.55pm and still nothing. My battery promptly dies so I ambush a lady standing nearby and call the tardy prick.
“WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!“, I say in my head. I remember that I’m in the presence of a woman who looks like she might wilt away if I swear, so I gently ask where the fucking fuck he is (but without the swearwords. Yes I am passive aggressive as fuck), he says he’s still drinking and he will be there in 15 minutes. I return the phone and seethe quietly. I also grow several beards as 11.10pm flips me off as it walks on by.
By now it’s 11.20pm and I have lost all my patience. There is no one nearby for me to ambush, so I walk around trying to find a public phone which is almost impossible because public phones are almost extinct. I manage to find one anyway because I am awesome. I call him up and he tells me, “WRU I’VE BEEN LOOKING AROUND FOR YOU AND CAN’T FIND YOU!” which I find implausible because a) I was just there like 3 fucking minutes ago and I didn’t see his stupid fucking face anywhere and b) I am angry as fuck so whatever he says is untrue and impertinent to the fact that I AM ANGRY AS FUCK.
I seethe even more. My head feels like it’s about to explode from how pissed off I am. I backtrack and find him about 30 meters away from the taxi stand, staring up into the sky because he is somewhere between tipsy and drunk. My head explodes from sheer angst.
Okay fine, it obviously did no such thing, but I was seriously beyond fucking pissed. I haven’t been this pissed off at him in such a fucking long time. I almost punched him the fucking face. My time is precious. If my laptop still had juice, I could have done some work and not be this pissed. But hello!? NO FUCKING PHONE NOR LAPTOP AND ALL I COULD DO WAS SIT THERE FOR NEARLY AN HOUR BECAUSE YOU WERE FUCKING DRINKING. Fucking inconsiderate. Just because I’m always so fucking good to you, doesn’t mean you can treat me like fuck. I’m not your fucking dog k. I’m not just going to wait patiently wagging my fucking tail while you finish doing your unimportant crap (ie DRINKING). Angry as fuck seriously.
When the cab got to his place, I told him to just go home and sleep it off whilst I went to my own house. He had the fucking nerve to get pissed off at me for not staying over. He fucking slammed the taxi door shut!?!?!?!?! i almost get out of the cab to punch him but once again I am passive aggressive so I just kill him 5 times in my head.
Tomorrow when he’s out of his fucking drunken stupor and calls to apologize, he’s going to get so much shit from me that his asshole is going turn bright green with jealousy. Pfffftttt okay rant over, going to sleep now that I’ve vented, ttyl.
P.S – The beards that I have grown whilst waiting are magnificent and metaphorical. I shall now leave you with the mental image of me with multiple beards. See how you sleep tonight HAHAHAHAHAHAH KTHXBAI